Existentialism on a Thursday Night

Do you remember what it was like when you first wondered what the meaning of life was? I don’t but I know we’ve all been there. I wish I did remember what I first thought. What made me question it? What made me wonder what we’re all doing here?

I’m listening to BBC Radio One as I’m writing this listening to the hosts talk about how a horror movie that’s coming out isn’t scary. I’m hearing what their saying but mostly I’m wondering what the meaning of life is? There’s obviously more to life than just talking about trivial things like movies and why there aren’t any good ones in theaters right now. Not that there’s anything wrong with those things at all. In fact the “trivial” stuff is what makes our life fun. Movies, music, whatever else tickles your fancy it’s all such a great part of life. It doesn’t lend any answers to our biggest questions though. I guess unless you’re watching a movie on the meaning of life.

What do you do when you start to question the meaning of life? When you can’t stop wondering what we are doing here or what the point of it all is? Is there anything you really can do when you feel like you’re having an existential crisis? You could go for a walk, meditate, have a 30 second dance party and dance it out. Sometimes it’s not enough though. When you find yourself truly having an existential crisis it doesn’t matter what you do it all starts to affect you. It makes you question, it makes you sentimental, it makes you worry. It’s hard. Maybe there are people out there who never really do question any of that stuff. They just go through life and take it at face value without ever actually questioning anything. I’d be willing to bet those people are few and far between. Even if you’re not someone who spends a lot of time thinking about this stuff I can’t imagine stuff like that doesn’t ever cross your mind.

The Brits were on last night and Adele performed her new single “When We Were Young.” I don’t want to assume she was feeling existential when she wrote that song but with lines like “let me photograph you in this light In case it is the last time that we might be exactly like we were before we realized we were sad of getting old it made us restless,” it’s probably not to far of a reach to think that she was feeling a bit of it. That chorus from that song hits me like a ton of bricks every time. There’s so much I would want to remember that I’m afraid I’ve already forgotten. Little things about the people I’ve lost, lost moments from the best times, the way the sky looked on my happiest days. It really is enough to make you sad and restless. It’s enough to make you question why it’s so easy to forget things that were so important in the moment.

I don’t know why we are here but I do know that we are all made up of stardust. We all hold our own little universes inside us and that’s why there isn’t one universal answer to what the meaning of life is. It’s different for each of us. Within our little universe we are stardust, and love, and compassion, and fun, and infinite wonder. All those little moments, all the ones we feel like we are forgetting slowly but surely, continue to live inside us and form everything that we are and everything that we will become. It doesn’t answer the big mystery of life but maybe the answer is that there isn’t one. So the next time you feel like you’re having an existential crisis because you’re 25 and people won’t stop asking you what you’re doing with your life even though you don’t have the answer they are looking for or because your 16 and have just gone through a major life trauma honor it. Take the deepest breath that you can and let it out slowly and remember that moment. Remember that you don’t have to know what the reason is to just know that you are here for a reason. Remember that you are made of love and stars and one day you won’t feel like you have to question everything. You will just be able to be.

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